WalMart’s Three Step Program

Just about everyone’s heard of twelve step programs. The Twelve Step Program is a set of guiding principles for recovery from addictive, compulsive or other behaviorial problems and was originally designed by the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have no opinion one way or the other on whether it works or not. But it leads me to the “three step program”, aka “coaching” that WalMart Corp. imposes on it’s wayward associates. Allow me to explain.

First, a little disclaimer. I’m just putting this process out there. What anyone else makes of it is entirely their opinion. I will not venture to either advocate this process nor condemn it because I don’t want anyone coming after me for disclosing any deep, dark insider secrets. But anyone who works at WalMart or has a friend/relative working for WalMart might already be privy to the process.

As I said, WalMart calls this “coaching”. Sounds sort of fun, doesn’t it? Go team, go! Go out there and win one for Sam! But, no, contrary to the supportive, encouraging term, it’s more of a punishment than anything else. Let’s say an “Associate” calls in repeatedly (repeatedly is basically anything over 3 days, not excessive some may say) or an associate goes over their “scheduled” hours (not overtime, or over 40 hours, but over their own individual hours for the week) or basically anything contrary to WalMart’s particular set of rules/regulations/policies/blah, blah  (which these seem to be arbitrary and at the discretion of each individual Assistant Manager). The first step of coaching is what they call a “verbal coaching”. You’re called into the office and advised of your infraction and you get a talking to. Not too bad I suppose. Now, if after that verbal coaching you are naughty again, you then receive what’s affectionately known as a “written coaching”. Once again you’re brought into the office, advised of your naughtiness and how it adversely affects the company and you are given a paper to sign. Then, if you are still an insolent and naughty child (oops, I mean adult) you receive what’s called a “D” day. I’m not sure what the “D” stands for. Dummy, Dope, Doo-Doo Head. Anyway, you are sent home (with pay) to write a letter explaining what you did, why it was wrong and why you should be allowed to keep your job. Once the I-Am-A-Doo-Doo-Head letter is written, you are allowed to return to work and a committee (maybe just the Assistant Manager, I don’t know) decides whether or not you’re sincere enough to maintain your job. I think your Mom might have to sign it, but I’m not sure. The final step, of course, is instant termination, where upon you are escorted out of the store flanked between two members of management. Just a tad humiliating.

So, basically WalMart has adopted the three-strikes-and-you’re-out philosophy (four if you count the personal escort service). I’m not saying poor work performance should go unchallenged. But, this process often creates an environment of fear among associates. Making a mistake, going over one’s hours, calling in sick, can all be behaviors warranting coaching. And the fact that many Managers seem to have their own ideas on what requires coaching leaves associates worried when rotation time rolls around (when Assistant Managers change department assignments). Some hold their breath and hope they don’t get so-and-so overseeing their department. But, such is life. We all need jobs in order to pay the bills. Perhaps WalMart’s associate policies aren’t far off from what other employers impose upon employees. I just had the need to disclose this important information, but in the meantime I’ll say, “Go team, go!”

***This post (and all others, including those not published here) can be read on my new blogging site, http://www.mylovesleftovers.com. Thanks for checking it out!

Please Don’t Shit On Me Because I Work At WalMart

What makes some people think it’s okay to treat customer service workers with little or no respect? I work at the customer service desk at my local WalMart. I have to say, however, that for the most part people are pleasant and polite. But every so often you get an abusive and rude customer who thinks it’s okay to treat you like shit. I had just such an experience this past weekend.

It’s WalMart’s policy to issue a store credit to customers returning merchandise without a receipt. It is also their policy to refund the most current price of an item when a customer doesn’t have a receipt. This, to me, makes perfect sense. Without a receipt, there’s no way to verify the amount the customer actually paid for the item. We have no way of knowing if the item was purchased at a sale price or not.  We have no way of knowing when the item was even purchased.

So, having said all this, a woman came to the customer service desk this past Sunday to return two pairs of jeans. She claimed they were Christmas presents and she didn’t have the receipt. Fine. No problem. That is until they rang up lower than the original price. She became indignant and insisted she receive the price that was on the tag. I attempted to explain that, without a receipt, we could not be sure if the jeans had been on sale at the time of purchase and it was WalMart’s policy to refund the current price. Well, she told me that if she wasn’t refunded the price on the tag she’d get , “all pyscho bitch” on me. Uh-oh. I had a fruitcake on my hands. And a violent fruitcake. I had no idea what her definition of “psycho bitch” was but I knew for damn sure I wasn’t getting  paid enough to find out. I immediately suggested she speak to a manager and promptly called one over. He explained the same WalMart policy and she grabbed the offending jeans and said she intended to write to the local newspaper to report the unfair policy WalMart had inflicted upon her. Yeah right nutcase. The paper’s really gonna report that. I highly doubted she knew how to read and/or write but whatever. As long as she got out of my face.

She leaned over the counter and said to me, “gimme a bag, bitch”. The manager said “excuse me?!” and she just stared at the both of us. Real classy chick. She didn’t look too bright. In fact, she looked like a low-class, ignorant, dirtbag so I wasn’t too offended by the remark when considering where it came from. My Mom has a saying, “take it from where it comes”. In this case I wasn’t about to get upset by a comment made by an ignorant moron so I put her stupid jeans (that were probably too small for her and that was the reason for the return) and handed them to her. The other customers looked amused, shocked and disgusted by the display.

So, what makes someone think it’s okay to call people they don’t even know a foul name? Did she know me personally? Was I a bitch simply because I was following WalMart’s policy? All I know is she’s damn lucky I wasn’t a waitress and she was an abusive customer or she’d be getting my special sauce. How would I have reacted if this scenerio had played out in the streets? Probably quite differently. Would I have gotten my ass kicked? Maybe, maybe not, but I know for damn sure I wouldn’t have let her get away with calling me a bitch.                                                          

Don’t Make Me Wear That Santa Hat!

I work for a major, world-wide retailer. I won’t mention any names, but it begins with a ‘W’. Now that the Christmas holidays are once again upon us I have to make a rather important decision. To wear a Santa hat or not to wear it. Why would I possibly want to make a moronic spectacle of myself and wear a dopey red hat with a pom-pom? The answer is I wouldn’t. However, it has become a “requirement” that all cashiers wear a Santa hat for the holidays. I suppose it’s meant to get customers in the Christmas spirit, thus fooling them into spending more money. But that’s just my theory.

First off, I’m not a Christian. Why would I want to wear anything that represents a Christian holiday? Does anyone expect cashiers to wear Yarmulkes during Passover? Has Christmas become so commercialized that the only symbol left is a stupid red fuzzy pair of pajamas with matching hat?

Last year I refused to wear the hat, even after being told by a manager it was “mandatory”. I told her I don’t celebrate the traditional Christmas holidays and she left me alone. Darn it, and I had a whole speech ready to recite. But, they actually sent some cashiers home for refusing to wear them. One girl was a Jehovah’s Witness. I’m pretty sure that’s coming pretty darn close to infringing on one’s right to express one’s own religious beliefs.

So, I must stick to my beliefs. I will once again refuse to wear the dreaded Santa hat. I’ll use my speech if I have to, which is basically that I don’t appreciate having my religious beliefs trampled on and I suggest that it end right there. Perhaps they’ll fire me and I can sue, make lots of money, write a book, Oprah will add me to her book list and then invite me on her show to discuss the Santa hat story.