Okay, so you’ve met someone. You’re pretty sure it’ll never develope into a “real relationship”, but you still end up having sex. It turns out to be the best sex you’ve ever had. Do you stick around waiting to see if love will blossom or do you trash that idea decide to remain friends with benefits”?
Being single and being responsibly sexually active today is certainly acceptable and common. Most couples don’t save themselves for marriage anymore. This is the 21st century afterall. Who’s to say that if you decide to wait until after marriage your sex life won’t turn out to be a disaster? Some people are just not sexually compatible. In addition, many people have no desire to be married in the first place. Does that mean they should be celibate for the rest of their lives? Of course not. Humans are sexual beings with hormones, desires and the need to connect. So where does that leave those of us who want a good sex life, but do not wish to be in a long-term, monogamous relationship? This is where the (for lack of a better term) friends with benefits deal comes in.
Friends with benefits is nothing new. It’s usually a term used by young people, but certainly not a situation reserved only for the young. The premise being that two parties mutually (often, but not always) decide they want the sex and not the strings. They don’t want to be labeled as the “boyfriend” or the “girlfriend”. But is this an arrangement that is fair to both parties or even easily maintained? When does the jealousy factor kick in? What if one party gets more serious than the other? Despite all the agreements made at the beginning of the sex without strings deal, it often results in hurt feelings and anger.
More often than not it’s the female who ends up getting hurt. Let’s face it, women view sex, love and romance in a much different way than men do. Women are usually more emotional. Men usually aren’t nearly as emotional or demonstrative. They also have the uncanny ability to seperate sex from love. Ladies: how often are you hurt over something your man has done and the last thing you want to do is have sex until the issue is resolved? Men: how often is your mate upset with you, but you still fully expect her to jump into the sack?
I honestly don’t think friends with benefits relationships can work. Some people are just meant to remain friends. I fully believe that two members of the opposite sex can have a platonic relationship. Crossing the line over to a sexual relationship just introduces a whole new set of issues and feelings. When one party moves onto a more serious relationship the other party is left alone and hurt.